some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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