I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
