We won't sleep together?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Boobs are out for the taking
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
