thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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