he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
what the fuck happened to the tacos
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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