Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
