There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
