so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
