That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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