two words: eviction party
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
