Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
What a dumb baby whore.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
