he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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