I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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