Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
