Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
