I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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