If that was your dad, he is hot
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We got so high we made milksteak
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
