I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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