Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
