Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize