where does the pee come out of this thing
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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