I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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