I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
