i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
