I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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