Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
