Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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