Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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