I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
