i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
