Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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