If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
