I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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