I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
