i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
