That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Your penis caused this!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
