last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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