I met the friendliest cop last night
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize