Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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