Plan B is the new Plan A
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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