He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
