i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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