And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
