My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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