your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Randomize
