well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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