New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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