sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
