so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
