Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
