it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
