my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize