I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
