I think I am morally bankrupt
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
