I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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